Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 But at the end of the day the babys mom is still collecting money and gifts from friends and family right? A welcome party I think is more suited than a baby shower. In my mind if u cant afford to pay for your babys stuff, then perhaps postphone having one. Or at least make it less obvious that you want gifts for the baby. If a friend is throwing you one it sounds better than throwing one urself lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 I use to think what Mai is saying that if its for a baby shower then the baby is suppose to be presented but as I attend so many baby shower before having one of my own I understand why ppl would have one before the baby arrives and some would have one after the baby arrives or some rare moments they would have two. One before and after. Lol I set had one a month before my due date or maybe it was two weeks before my due date. But I def did not collect any money lol also never did I attend any before my own have I ever seen nor given money for the baby showers lol but the ones who threw / had one threw in their honors are hosted by friends and families to pre welcome the baby w gifts as to also prepare and help prep the mommy and daddy to be w stuff they needed as they will def have their hands full once the new bundle of joy is here and won't have time to be running around trying to gather things. My hub and I are newly parents as our son is our very first so we got some stuff for ourselves as well and when we had the shower we had some things that were given to us as gifts for our son that we didn't know that were all very helpful Esp a diaper genie! Omg hahahaha. As for collecting money I only given money for graduations parties and weddings lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 I think when people say money grab, theyre talking about gifts too though, not just cash. I had one friend who got married really young, did the stag and doe, did some other event to help pay for the wedding. Then she got a house right after so a house warming party for the house. Then got pregnant within a year had a baby shower before the baby came. i coudlnt keep up with how much I had to go shopping for her. We werent close but our families were. So we had to attend out of courtesy. And the thing is anything free where nothing had to be given, I was never invited to so came her babys baby shower 3 months after I didnt feel obligated anymore. I was always on the list to attend when I had benefit to her, but off the list if she had to host for free Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noydarny80 Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Well baby shower with white people is really different with the baby shower with Asian. Asian people always give money and done. With white people they will buy you baby items and will not give you cash. I think Baby shower is really suppose to help young mother with baby items for their baby. Asian just for food, entertaining and card game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 lol at the card game Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 My sister hated those like tiny baby shoes gifts?? honestly it goes to waste, the baby ain't going to wear it, its cute but such a waste of money haha. I got my friend a box of newborn diapers for her first baby lol I have not really been to Asia parties because I don't like to mingle with Asians all they do is gossip about others, although I don't mind halfies, I like going with the white people, less stress and jealously lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Lol my crowd is mix but I prolly have more Asian lol gifts are gifts they aren't money. Is money bought yes but it's meant as a gift and honestly you should never be / feel obligated to get anything if u don't want to. Just cus u got an invite don't entitle a gift / money. Just your presence is enough. Even just that is gift enough. It u want to bring something then that's all on you. My shower was fun and the ones I attend were fun too if anything I use the ones I attend as example lol I enjoy the diaper game lmao where they make it look like poo and the guests who's playing the games have to guess what it is made of hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Its social etiquette to get something if you're invited to a baby shower, to a wedding, to anything of that sort. Thats the whole purpose . So you cant say that youre not obligated. People dont hold baby showers just to see their friends, or even to show off the baby nowadays if its held before the baby comes, its a way to get items for the baby before the baby even makes way into this world. When people talk about money grabbing events, its basically when youre gifted. I understand having the shower after the baby comes because thats a good way to give everyone a chance to see the baby and if anyone wants to bring gifts then so be it. but a baby shower before the baby comes? what does that serve except to get money and gifts? Im sure the ones holding these showers are not just holding one for the sake of it and expecting guests to come empty handed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunny Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Actually I hang out with Asians alot while on exchange but it felt different as everyone had different goals in life and its all about the future, studies, jobs and living our lives. We talked about places, food and ideas. There was no jealously or gossips lol I liked that type of Asians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 I think it depends on your friends too. Asians and whites can be drama free if you pick the right friends Its when the parents are involved that gossip starts to happen. The parents generation are big gossipers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Actually I can cus when we attend we don't always bring gift and when I had my baby shower a few didn't bring anything either but again that doesn't matter lol urself is a gift too but a though when I was in hospital one did brig be flowers lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASH30 Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 When I have my first son, a group of ladies from church threw a baby shower for me. One made a blanket for him another wrote his name out and some pretty words next to every letter. It was sweet. Most of the gifts I got was homemade . I didn't mind because I wasn't big on stuff like that. My second one I didn't want a shower. Instead after he was born we had a come and go to welcome him. We express no gifts but those that came gave gift cards or a little present. I'm not a big birthday person either. I don't like to prepare for a party nor do I like to cook lol. The Asian people I hang out with required some good cooking, alcohol, karaoke and gambling. And if you don't have any of those they don't want to come or stay long. Anyway, I hate the fact that when you invite people they eat, make a mess and then talk crap about how things are. I threw one big birthday party for my son when he was 4. That was the last one he had the rest of his birthdays are just a few of his close friends to a place he likes or for a sleep over. My close friend on the other hand throws a big birthday party every year for her kids...even when they are 15 and 20 years old (she has been throwing one since they are babies) I got tired of it that I stopped going. One time, she wanted to buy a diamond earrings for her 20 year old for her birthday and wanted to know who want to contribute. I literally shook my head and didn't give any Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 And again someone else was "holding & hosting" it for me in my honor lol when giving such gifts and attending such things we shouldn't think such as money grabbers lol cus everyone who comes to these things are all family and friends. We all know one and another. U know when I attended a Mexican wedding they did the money danc I dance w the groom and bride and didn't give money lmfao! Hahahahahha cus I was there to help celebrated their special day lol Karaoking is fun! Lol def fun when drunk ahahahahah as for gambling that's too risky so never do that lol and drinking and gambling? Def can get violence lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honda Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Baby showers are done for you, not the mother to be hosting it herself. My close friend hosted a baby shower for us for our first child, we didn't ask for it but our friend wanted to do it. We ate and played games, it was fun. With our second child we refused to allow anyone to host a baby shower for us. I personally think it's a nice gester for first time mothers, it do not believe everyone is doing it for money or gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Yeah when its held for you its a different matter altogether, but most people hold their own nowadays. And yes I still think its rude to attend a party meant as a baby shower, a wedding and go empty handed. Even getting invited over to dinner, one should have etiquette to bring something in their hands like a bottle of wine at the very least. Especially if youre attending a wedding, its super rude not to have something for the bride and groom. It cost them to invite you to their special day, it cost at least 75 dollars per person nowadays, so to not give anything to the couple is super inconsiderate in my opinion. I get why now when Asian people get married the western way, they only invite close friends and family, because they cant afford to lose money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noydarny80 Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 My sister did baby shower for her first but didn't do anything for her second kid. I hosted the third for her but we were doing a tea party instead of traditional shower. No gift required but people still do and we had fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 See you get it Mai! Lol U know I always wanted to do tea parties but I hate tea hahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mai Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 about someone holding the baby shower for you? Yeah I did say its different lol. But when its family members I still think its the parents idea too. LIke Honda said its really up to the parents whether or not they want one held for them. But if you have a baby shower before the baby comes, dont have one three months after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noydarny80 Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 I did a month before the baby arrived because it's all the comfort of my sister. Some people get bed rest by their doctor because their legs swollen so bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
passionalee Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Dude they wanted to bed rest be cus I was H U G E and so they took me off work for the remaining of my 3 months? My tummy was filled w just water and they were afraid he might get all tangle in there scared the crap out of me and then the obgy tells me don't stress ok and I'm Like tf u just told me the scary crap and tell me not to stress smh lol so when my shower time rolled I was so glad we had ac cus I was def not in the mood My son a summer baby And Cali's heat ain't no joke lolol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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